Wish Me Luck

I've become accustomed to the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune. Gale force winds that have blown everything I thought to be a certainty away as if they never existed at all. Each time left with only myself standing, and the the weight of the world so heavy upon my shoulders that to keep my feet, much less take another step, seemed as much a act of faith as it did some foreign variety masochism in which I was unaware. When these times come you typically grasp at any comfort within reach, real or imaginary. Telling yourself there is a reason for this, there is a lesson to be learned here if only you could see from a higher vantage. What ever reason existed or lesson there was to be gleaned during those times I couldn't recite, but without them I am certain I would not be here. And here is a very good place. Each time I allow myself this glimmer of hope I feel myself quickly recoil as an abused dog does when offered a generous hand. It is my hope that once that hand is offered frequently enough and with the same outcome that hope will grow to love, and the prison in which I've dwelt for so long will instead be my castle. I play a dangerous game when I place all that I am, and hope to be, within this vessel and send it to uncertain waters. As with a step of faith, to reach those gold shores one must first cast off without looking back and believe such a place exists and waits for you on the other side. I do, and I am casting off.

#4

I rage with my mind that's stuck in rewind,
today is the day that was here just before.
Over the same ground like a merry-go-round,
the ride only stops when you put your foot down.

Too nervous to say just what I mean,
so I smile instead and return to my knees.
When I was young I was bold and undone,
the world could not hold two just like me.

The river still runs so the hawk must still fly,
and time is the illusion to which we subscribe.
The moment is now and as it was just before,
stand and take heed of what's worth fighting for.

Lying in bed in this prolonged moment in time,
your bones are now worn from picking the vine.
All possessions you'd give to put your foot down,
but time has a way of chewing and spitting us out.

Awesome Dream

So, I ended up sleeping on a friends spare bed the last two nights. Both nights I had extremely vivid dreams. Of course, now that I've been awake those dreams have increasing become elusive. This morning reminded me of a puzzle game in which my sub-conscience seemed to know all the answers. As a read the instructions to my next puzzle I woke up unfortunately. Before this a very large creature stood blocking my path. I was required to climb several shelves and after emitting what can only be described as a call the creature became noticeably annoyed. It brought one of its enormous fist down upon the shelves. They fly up and stuck the creature and it fell to the ground. I advanced. Bizarre dreams.